8th World Wonder

Okay so I'm officially really lazy. It's been several months since I last blogged. Ugh, I'm beat, it's the end of January, and I'm not employed, in school or whatever. I'm really lethargic as of late and a lot of things have been on my mind. Things like, Elliott, my best friend's betrayal to me, finding a job, and getting my life back in order. Although Elliott and the whole stupid betrayal/whatever-it-really-is thing have taken top priority. They really shouldn't be, I mean, I really should find a job, otherwise how am I going to pay for the dress i have to find for Elliott's prom?

Oi, oi, I haven't slept yet at all tonight, or rather now it's morning. And I'm so out of schedule, in a funk, call it whatever you want to, I'm experiencing it.

Here's the song in the title. Can't stop thinking about Elliott. Like ever...

. . .

Oh joys, got the rag today. Finally. I need to lose some weight or otherwise I'm never going to be able to keep track of this thing. I mean seriously...

Oh well onto a different subject. So I've been lazy the last two days, not really wanting to get up, I've been more tired than usual. But the above is most likely to explain that part of my health for the time being. Grandma said that the christian bookstore in town, down on 3rd, is looking for part time help. Tomorrow I have to go down there, either via my bike or via a ride from my grandmother. Just got to make sure they don't come onto the fact that I haven't visited a Sunday mass in years, and that I'm not exactly Christian anymore, I'm wiccan. XD Although I could sue if I was fired from there just because I was not Christian. Lol. Whatever. I have to remember to go down to the mall again and pick up more applications. After all, I need to find a job soon, otherwise I will have no money to spend at Daisho-con, let alone any money to buy the stuff I need to make my Kiba Inuzuka and Nami Onneko outfits.

Wow, amazing, why is it that we always give out the best advice to others, that would work wonders for us, but is also the hardest to follow? Sucks, a lot. Just gave the boyfriend a talk about how he can't act like a kid and pfft education, and my reasons behind it. But now I just kind of feel bad for telling him that, because had it been on the phone, I know he wouldn't have any hearing left in either ear, and neither would his mother, that and I probably wouldn't have been able to shut up until something truly bad was said and then I really wouldn't be able to forgive myself at all. I hate getting angry like that, I'm glad that the cat wasn't in my lap either, or she'd be dead from being squeezed to death as I stared into her little eyes. And I'm glad my mother hadn't bugged me either, or she probably would have gotten a very large thick plastic water bottle chucked at her head. Note to anyone, I REPEAT: ANYONE, reading this, do not anger me, piss me off, irritate or aggitate me in any way, especially when I am in the bleeding cycle, your ass will be mine and your brain will be assaulted with hurtful things, most truths and I do not hold back. Piss me off and you will pay.

Now, back to what I was origi... Damnit, now I feel bad again. Fucking A.

I'm giving up on this for the night. *groans and goes off*

I Promise....

Today, I promise,
No I make this promise,
All to myself.
No more backing down,
No running away,
No leaving with excuses,
When I know I’m the one to blame.

I promise,
To see myself for who I truly am,
To no longer break down,
And give in.

I promise,
To love myself,
And to see beauty in my mirror,
When every new day begins.

I promise,
To embrace those who are broken,
To be a stronghold,
Keeping them safe in my arms.

I promise,
To see the reality,
When I begin to get gloomy,
And to look at the glass,
And see it as half full.

I promise,
To never give up,
And never procrastinize,
And to finish what I start.

I promise,
To fix myself,
So that I may enjoy my life,
And others can enjoy it as well.

I promise,
To be a better person,
To be happy,
And healthy,
Like I used to be.

I promise,
To burn those letters,
For they are holding me back,
And I know now,
He won’t be loving me again.

I promise,
To not focus on the past,
To look forwards to the future,
And to live each day as if it was my last.

I promise,
To be kind,
And gentle,
To everyone I meet,
Whether they have hearts of stone,
Or hearts light as feathers.

I promise,
To be committed,
To stick with things,
To stay firm and strong.

I promise,
That I can laugh,
At even the stupid jokes,
That I used to groan at.

I promise,
To get along with my mother,
And talk to my sister more than once a month,
And to help my father out when he needs it.

I promise,
To not take life for granted,
And to see myself as blessed,
And lucky.

I promise,
To make it all worthwhile,
To make sure that everything is enjoyable.

I promise, to the man I love,
I will love him forever,
And never let go.

And I promise,
That I won’t ever,
Break these promises.